Aliteration, My Bowels And Ben's Big Gig

The other day my Primary School Teaching girl-friend explained what aliteration means. Without realising it, I had used it in my poems on numerous occassions in the past. It gives wonderful flow and rhythm. Towards the end of her explanation I thought up the following line: "The feisty flight of fledglings fleetingly flew through forest Firs', and with raised eyebrows she said "Yes George," and walked off to make more mint tea.

So, things have been alright my end: several good gigs and one horrible one. From performing to an audience of families to that of black clothed Goths waiting in the "moshpit" for the next metal band to come on. I enjoyed the former performance to nearly 200 people and the latter to 18 people just as much. Both were as equally enjoyable and were brilliant experience for crafting my set to suit the very different types and size of audience. But inbetween I compered an event down in London that wasn't so fun. I didn't feel great (physically) before hand but excuses, excuses! After the first 8 minutes I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I totally bombed in the opening ten minutes but then gradually brought it back as the night drew on. It was a strange old night. Just watch the nervous arm movements - trying to find that non-existent pocket, perhaps?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbs2PY5PhQU

Anyway, the next thing is

on: Friday (1st May - two days time)
at: The Northwall Arts Centre, Summertown, Oxford.
KO: 8pm
(I'm compering and bangin' out some verse inbetween acts. The night is called "Ben's Big Gig").

Curated/organised/sorted out by Xander Cansell, it's an amalgamation of the best of Ben Walker, (singer/songwriter of Christmas No.1 You Tube Hit equivalent, "You're No One If You're Not On Twitter" and "Hugh Fearnley Whittinstall - A Tribute") and his band. Ben and Xander are fellow geeks who've both got microchips actually imbedded in their penises. So with the aid of their technologically advanced willies the 220 seater venue will be wired up to the hilt with booths and stuff and wires and stuff and even more wires so as to enable it to be streamed live to the internet on the night. God knows how they do this stuff but it sounds great! Actually, coming to think of it, I ought to try and find out and actually learn/understand details of this concept before having to explain it to the audience!

Anyway, Ben Walker plays solo but also as part of a trio, avec bass and percussion;- all with Jekyll and Hyde type musically flexible instrument swappingly talented men and hence doing everything from Wallpaper Jazz to Folky Pop. Technically perfect, tunefully thoughtful, observational, touching, satirical and funny' are nine words I'd use to describe Mr Walker's work. Other Acts include The Funky Llamas and the brilliantly funny Tom Greeves.

Ear are some tasters of Ben's bits:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsS0B4T-lzo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OeGPXwBJXs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGIeSQ_PkBs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7nAaNMk9BM

BUY TICKETS for BEN'S BIG GIG:

from the North Wall box office (01865 319450)

or from http://www.intelligent-tickets.com/index.php?th=nw&pg=bookseats&date=1&event=Ben%27s+Big+Gig&sel=2

off for some menthe chaud.

Bye. x

George's March and April Antics

Hello. Nothing much to say today. Off to the Botanic Gardens and possibly the pub for a pint. Or just the pub. Been couped up like a free range chicken in France. Got to get out. Anyway, bye.

MARCH

Monday 2nd
Oxfringe 2009 Launch Party
7pm Brewery Gate
nr the Train Station
Oxford.

Friday 6th
Going to watch
Piano Master, Jean-Philippe Rio-py at
The Jacqueline Du Pre, Oxford.

Saturday 14th
"14 Hours"
@ The Griffin (upstairs),
93 Leonard Street,
Shoreditch, London
EC2A (nearest tube Old Street or Liverpool Street)

Featuring: John Berkavitch, Nathan Penlington, Me and others..


Wednesday 18th
Off to Bournemouth
School Gig,
Gig in a school, somewhere,
in Bournemouth
You can't come
unless you're a kid
at that school
in Bournemouth

Sunday 22nd
My older sister's birthday
(older than 30)

APRIL

Wednesday 1st

Hammer & Tongue Slam Poetry Night

@ Baby Simple, Cowley Road, Oxford

Simon Munnery, George Chopping plus some slammers

(don't know why it's slipped into some sort of double spacing mode..?!)

Monday 6th

Hosting: "Poetry and Schooners"
First night of this night.
@ The Chester Arms,
Chester Street,
Oxford.

Saturday 11th

Part of OXFRINGE 2009
(supporting the festival Headliner)
John Hegley: "Beyond Our Kennel"
@ The Jacqueline Du Pre Building,
Part of St Hilda's College,
Oxford
K.O. 7pm

Tuesday 14th

Hosting: "Utter! Chopping"
Featuring: John Hegley, Clare Pollard, Tim Key and Pete The Temp
@ The Green Note,
Camden,
London
(don't ask me how I managed to wangle this superb line-up. You'd just be silly to miss it).
K.O. 7:30pm (you ought to check the time on that one..)

Saturday 18th

Holding a workshop for "Utter!"
in London (details to follow)


Saturday 25th

"Gappy Tooth Industries"
@ The Wheatsheaf,
High Street,
Oxford.

Precise and confirmed details for all these gigs will be on my Facebook profile in the days leading up to each event.

Bye for now,
G

George's Journey

FEBRUARY

Monday 2nd

"Jam On That?"
Open-Mic at the Jam Factory (Arts Centre)
near the train Station in Oxford
8pm

(trying out a small bit of new stuff )

Wednesday 4th

"Songs In The Dark"
8pm. Upstairs at The Betsey Trotwood
56 Farringdon Road,
London, EC1R 3BL.

(12 and half minutes of my best stuff)

Friday 6th

"Bingo Masters Breakout"
8pm at St Aloysius Social Club, Phoenix Road
Euston, London, NW1 1TA.

(Guest Poet and Bingo Caller)

...And no other dates set in stone until...


APRIL

Saturday 11th


Part of OXFRINGE 2009 John Hegley and Spacial Guests
(me)
7pm in The Jacqueline De Pre Building (part of St Hilda's College), bottom of High Street and Iffley Road, just off the Plain (roundabout), Oxford.

Tuesday 14th

So I won the "Utter!" Ajar Mic Competition 2008 in Camden. Part of the prize is to host my own "Utter!" night which will be on Tuesday 14th April, 2009 at The Green Note, 106 Parkway, Camden, London, NW1 7AN. 8pm start.
Featuring: John Hegley, Tim Key (and others TBC)


going to eat now.
Bye x

sausages and love

Just before you say it, I know, I know. It's almost like I'm writing a fresh blog every hour because I'm just so committed to keeping you, my adoring, stalker followers in touch with the every (bowel) movement of Charles Street's next Poet Laur...Ooh, hold on a sec. (Second passing). Arhh, that's it - nothing quite beats the refreshing, lip-smackin', thirst quenchin', great tastin', motivatin', good buzzin', cool talkin', high walkin', fast livin', ever givin', cool fizzin' slirp of a well chilled can of Carling after a sweaty slog of a shift at the sausage restaurant, that started two hours after eight hours at the SUPERmarket. Um, I don't understand why I have Irritable Fucking Bowel Syndrome, Eczema, 27 other dermatological conditions, torn clothes, a shit haircut, sore cock, a self-obsession orientated personality disorder and hypochondriacy. But all it is, is I need to do something, anything because no one apart from my best mates at i-tunes have e-mailed me and even I'm getting a little bored of watching (myself on) You Tube and of course there's absolutely bugger all on tv, so...



...oh, I'm going to bed..


[3 days later]


Morning, um, before I forget, I'm assisting in the promotion of and will be introducing on the night, a guy called Jean-Philippe Riopy. He's not Welsh but French and a pianist who will be playing at The Jacqueline De Pre Building, Oxford on Friday 7th November. He plays Classical pieces but improvised with jazz in his own passionately distraught and unique style. Well worth the £8 or £5 as a student. He is bloody good!


In my last blog you can see the next dates that I'm performing and in addition to them, I will be performing in the 'Ajar Open Mic Final' on Tuesday 9th December at The Green Note, Camden. The event is called "Utter", hosted by Richard Tyrone Jones. The prize is £1,000,000. Or was it £100? I can't remember. Last Tuesday I performed at the aformentioned venue and have never felt so nervous in my life, nearly, but carried it off ok..ish, I think. Got the laughs but noted as I went through the set, how many things I would do differently and that the Senyru entitled 'Window-Licker' is a definite 'no-no' for any future audience.


[about 15 days later...Wednes 21st Nov]


God, I feel diabolical. But I don't know why i'm telling you because you're a carpenter; rather you were a carpenter...that's if you ever.. Well, anyway, I feel like shit. It's a mint tea day and a day of self-doubting, worrying about money, worrying about leaving the security of a secure job although, granted, a job that (like a lot of people have) was making me miserable but needless to say less miserable than being hungry and now I don't even think I have the ability to be a waiter in a fucking sausage and mash restaurant! Perhaps I never was a good waiter? Perhaps people just had that perception in their head because I fooled them into thinking I was good because I can/could always appear confident, loud, mildly amusing and moderatly entertaining. Perhaps my Grandpa did shag John Cleese's mother, nine months before he was born and two months before he met my Grandma..? But the entertaining thing was only actually as a result of the fact that I used to find the whole experience so incredibly stressful. Food that's overcooked, raw, uncooked, unclean, too clean, too soft, too hard, too rare, not rare enough, "where's the mustard?" "Any forks?"

"Um, sorry to trouble you but we ordered our coffees twenty minutes ago..."

"You, table 29?! Coffee? Haven't you gone yet? Fucking coffee! I thought the tops on your creme fucking brulees weren't fucking hard enough! Why didn't you piss off after that dis-heartening state of circumstance; that earth shattering fact. Here's your bill! I haven't got time to make you fucking coffee. Piss off!"

Here is George's Gig-List:


Tuesday 25th November, 2008

LPS (London Poetry Systems)
The Flea Pit
49 Columbia Road,
Shoreditch/Hackney, London

at 8:30pm

Thursday 27th November, 2008

John Hegley, Tony Curtis and George Chopping

The Thunderbolt,
Totterdown, Bristol

at 8:30pm

Wednesday 3rd December

Comedy Night
Johnathon Elston, Ivo Graham, Rachel Boxall, Broderick Chow, George Chopping,
Tom Goodliffe (MC)

Corner Club
16/17 Turl Street,
Oxford

Doors 7:45pm (8:15)
Members: Free
Non-Members: £5

Tuesday 9th December

"Utter!"
The Green Note
Camden, London

All sorts of stuff - comedy/poetry/music possibly
(please google event for time/cost/address)

Ok, off to the market.

Bye,

G x

Death From Coughing

hello, it's me, "Mr Regular Blogger" with this week's bi-annual update of the last two months occurrences.

So, en vacances dans aout pour tres semaines. First port of call, down to Devon for two weddings on consecutive days. (Hold on, I need to go and kick the washing machine to stop the bleeping). So, as I was saying, went to the first wedding on Friday, died from a Man Cold and irritated IBS on Saturday and then flew from Exeter to Edinburgh on Sunday. Edinburgh was alright and certainly better than last year as I went without any books or expectations but to see some stuff and to be away from where I am normally. I did miss the supermarket, though...like a nail bomb going off in my small bowel.

Went to some of the dirtiest bars in the city and learnt not to pretend to be Scottish,
in the first one. Despite having a cold throughout the duration o fthe three weeks off I continued to play hard and make the most of being in my favourite City during the month of the year when it is artistically plugged into a million volt socket. Although the majority of a lot of the many venues do not appear to get many of the volts through...Ooh, look at me - bitchy reviewer!

So I saw plenty of comedy that actually was funny, but you have to pay for it. Also saw a piece of physical theatre called "Dear Theo" about artists' survival and letters between Van Gogh and his brother Theo, I think. But I'm not entirely sure (which is no reflection on the play) but i had to dip out for a crap, half way through and so I think I might have missed some crucial bits. Anyway, so I left feeling confused, lighter and moderately cultured.

I saw other bits but I can't be bothered to mention them. I'm not fucking TIMEOUT. I did one of my best received sets at a venue called the Bongo Club on the last night. And was accosted by two reasonably fit American Ladies afterwards who, despite being married, basically wanted a bit of me. "Georgie's Doggerell - COME ON LADIES!"

Right, where can you se mee next? I hear you scream whilst lobbing pairs of knickers at my head...Well:

On Tuesday 14th October (next Tues)

@The Green Note Club, Camden, North London
£2 before 7:30pm a Lady Godiva (£iver) after

(A fine looking line-up and the re-locating party of "Utter" hosted by Richard Tyrone Jones).

......................................................

On Friday 14th November

@ The Royal Seven Stars, Totnes, Devon (bottom of the Street)

part of the "Wondermentalist Cabaret" hosted by (Radio 4 regular) Matt Harvey

(a line-up well worth making the journey for).

....................................................

On Thursday 27th November

@The Thunderbolt, Totterdown, Bristol

John Hegley, Tony Curtis (possibly) and Me (definitely)

(tell your Bristolian friends about this one, please, otherwise I fear it might be to an audience of local death metallers only..)

Also I'm planning on doing a couple of other things up in London, one in Finchley and the other in Kings Cross. Dates to be confirmed bu tin the next couple of Months.

And that's it for now as I've got to go and serve sausages and mash to millions.

Bye,

GC x

so much to say; i don't know where to start..

Morning, it's me, George, again.
Been a while. Hope you're all fine.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome - NOT a laughing matter. The confirmed, yet still only suspected diagnosis of the condition (that has caused me to feel so sporadically unwell over the past 6 months) was made on Tuesday by a lovely Doctor by the name of Chung. She was very warm and calming in her address and whole demeanour in fact. Like many of the many doctors I have had the pleasure, yet misfortune of meeting, she was good. She felt a part of my lower abdomen at which point I yelped and then whilst I pulled down and tucked in my t-shirt we talked and she asked me how I found my job. But then she asked whether I actually liked it. I nearly cried. But I didn't until I was un-locking my racer from the drain-pipe outside the surgery; because I'm a real man. Real.
It is time to move on and people keep promising that it will not be forever and that "great things wait for George on the horizon" and possibly even a job that will pay more than four and a half loaves of Warburtons thin sliced an hour and will even give some form of satisfaction. Not utter boredom combined with frustration, anger, bitterness, self hatred and that of everyone surrounding, but of actual satisfaction and the feeling of not being abused and taken advantage of.

Got to have faith in one's ability to be able to...
...forge a CV that makes it look like I haven't had 27 jobs in the space of nine years and that all the volunteered referees are family members; the ones that I haven't worked for, of course.

The cloud is clearing. I'm not going to let the £84 T-Mobile bill upset me anymore. I'm not going to let those cunts at the SUPERmarket upset me anymore. I'm not going to let the fact that i spent half my last day off, descaling the bottom of the rancid mould fucking shower with caustic shit and crystal soda cream cleanser only for fellow housemates to still shed pubes. I'm going to find someone who deals good resin and tranquillisers.

But for now, I'm going to finish my drink and go to bed.
good bye and speak to you sooner than last time.

P.S.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qr2Lp-Ahgc

love, George

George's next stint in London

hello,
this is the next thing i'm doing in london.
hope you can come.
cheerio,
george x

http://www.timeout.com/london/comedy/events/696919/joke_and_spoken_word_night.html