Thursday, 10 July 2008

so much to say; i don't know where to start..

Morning, it's me, George, again.
Been a while. Hope you're all fine.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome - NOT a laughing matter. The confirmed, yet still only suspected diagnosis of the condition (that has caused me to feel so sporadically unwell over the past 6 months) was made on Tuesday by a lovely Doctor by the name of Chung. She was very warm and calming in her address and whole demeanour in fact. Like many of the many doctors I have had the pleasure, yet misfortune of meeting, she was good. She felt a part of my lower abdomen at which point I yelped and then whilst I pulled down and tucked in my t-shirt we talked and she asked me how I found my job. But then she asked whether I actually liked it. I nearly cried. But I didn't until I was un-locking my racer from the drain-pipe outside the surgery; because I'm a real man. Real.
It is time to move on and people keep promising that it will not be forever and that "great things wait for George on the horizon" and possibly even a job that will pay more than four and a half loaves of Warburtons thin sliced an hour and will even give some form of satisfaction. Not utter boredom combined with frustration, anger, bitterness, self hatred and that of everyone surrounding, but of actual satisfaction and the feeling of not being abused and taken advantage of.

Got to have faith in one's ability to be able to...
...forge a CV that makes it look like I haven't had 27 jobs in the space of nine years and that all the volunteered referees are family members; the ones that I haven't worked for, of course.

The cloud is clearing. I'm not going to let the £84 T-Mobile bill upset me anymore. I'm not going to let those cunts at the SUPERmarket upset me anymore. I'm not going to let the fact that i spent half my last day off, descaling the bottom of the rancid mould fucking shower with caustic shit and crystal soda cream cleanser only for fellow housemates to still shed pubes. I'm going to find someone who deals good resin and tranquillisers.

But for now, I'm going to finish my drink and go to bed.
good bye and speak to you sooner than last time.


love, George

1 comment:

Rachel said...

Hi George, just found your blog and I am hooked. So sorry to hear you're unwell and hope it improves soon. Congratulations on taking the employment leap(out) but always remember that what seems like a negative experience often becomes the driving force of creativity. Sometimes we are more creative when we are sad inside than when we're happy. Not that I'd rather you were sad you understand! Anyway I will drop by here from time to time to read your fab stuff. x